I was never a know-it-all. Yes, I did pretty well in school and yes, I (for the most part) got along with my teachers. But I was never the kid who sat in the front row waving my hands in the air in the hopes the teacher would call on me. For any of my readers who WERE that kid, I am not making fun…just explaining my school day demeanor.
But as I have grown up (I use ‘up’ instead of ‘in’ very intentionally), I have become somewhat attached to being right. As I have disclosed in previous posts, I drag my soapbox along with me quite often, just in case I find a perfect little opportunity to spout out my thoughts, ideas, and beliefs…all of which, of course, I think are right! Today was not unlike any other day; I managed to find a moment in which to profess my ‘truths…’ and to my humbling yet profound realization, I discovered the Unexpected Health one finds in…being wrong.
Now, being wrong can have all sorts of unhealthy qualities: being wrong directionally can cause one to get lost in life; being wrong about a person’s character can cause great pain in another; and being wronged has its own laundry list of hurtful aspects. But the Unexpected Health in being wrong is that as we can admit when we are not ‘all knowing,’ we free ourselves and others from lies…and being set free from unhealthy ‘belief bondage’ is healthy.
Just to reiterate, I said LIES…you read that right! When we are obsessed with being ‘right,’ making others ‘wrong,’ we are spreading lies…and lots of them! The first lie is that there is always an absolute ‘right’ and an absolute ‘wrong.’ This is followed by the lie that we self-RIGHTeous people feel the need to always have all of the answers to the questions in life. We don’t, can’t and won’t ever possibly be able to seek out and know even one millionth of the answers to life’s questions.
The second lie relates to those always deemed, ‘wrong.’ Who says who’s wrong? We RIGHTeous know-it-alls do! Being right or wrong (in most cases) is completely subjective and yet, we have made these objective polarities. Two people may have entirely different approaches to life…so who is ‘right?’ Neither are. Both are. Because, what I continue to discover on my health journey, is that what is acceptable, desirable for one person may be completely unacceptable and undesirable for another.
Today I got caught up in being ‘right…’ and I was very wrong. My proclamation of rightness could have (and probably did) make another feel small…and that is a lie. I lied today. No one is small. And just to be clear, I am in no position to make claims that I know what is best for anyone else besides myself. We have our own answers, we know our own truths. So the next time you feel the need to prove your point and be ‘right,’ zip it! You really don’t know what is best for anyone else unless you, “walk in their shoes,” and since shoes only fit one foot, you’ll never know what it might be like to walk in a pair of shoes that are already spoken for. Let’s allow freedom in each other. Freedom to try our own ‘shoes’ on, to walk around, fall down, get back up. Life is hard enough just keeping our own lives on a health path…so admit your self-RIGHTeousness, and after that…admit that you were wrong. There’s a quiet freedom when we can let ourselves and each other off the hook. -Until tomorrow, Jaime
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