A Knock Down, Drag Out Fight for Health
I am always up for a good old test of character. You know, those times of trials and tribulations that push every button we didn’t even know we had? As often as I think I ‘fail’ these tests, I am always game to get back out there and put my best foot forward in the character challenge. But today, as I heard of squabbles between family and friends, while recalling a few of own snarly times, I discovered the Unexpected Health in…fighting.
Sidenote: I am in no way referring to physical fighting or violence. There is nothing funny nor healthy about that. What I am talking about is that steam-coming-out-of-your-ears-from-irritation reaction to another.
For any of you who have ever fought (which is everyone!), you can probably list a few of its healthy benefits: fighting allows for honesty to shine through, even if the delivery is a little rough around the edges; a fight can create a completely different–a healthier–dynamic between two people; and a good old fashioned fight infiltrates us with a much needed perspective. But the Unexpected Health in fighting is that when we fight, we are being given a character test…and any test of our being is healthy.
Fighting brings up an array of emotions, past and present experiences, resentments, and any other feeling we have stuffed inside for way too long. That’s why it becomes a fight. If we continuously discussed our frustrations and hurt along the way, a fight would probably never arise. But we are human. We silence ourselves when we feel we need to…even when we desperately want to shout our feelings. We take the ‘quiet road’ because we do not want to rock the boat of others. We choose to neglect our own feelings to preserve another’s wants and desires. For most of us, we were programmed to be peacekeepers.
But sometimes, when life presents us with a “last straw,” we blow our lid, roll up our sleeves (figuratively, of course), and throw our verbal punches. Now of course, it is best to leave personal slander and ‘low blows’ out of the fight, but once in a while, we need to let our truth be known…in whatever form we can relay it! We can (and should) only tolerate so much. There comes a point in our lives when we must–for the sake of our health–speak up. And when we speak up, we are not only freeing ourselves from stored negative energy, we are telling another (even in the form of a yell) that we love them so much that we will not tolerate behavior that causes us to love them any less.
We should not strive to make all of our conversations a yelling match. But the next time you get into a fight, don’t be too hard on yourself. Remember that when we fight with our loved ones, no matter what the topic, we are quarreling NOT because of the hate we feel toward them, but because of the love we have for them. We love our loved ones so much that when hurt happens, we get mad. But at the root of our anger, in the parentheses of the “story’s” fight, is the deeper meaning…we love. When we love, we get hurt. When we get hurt, we fight. So fight it out; that’s okay…then get back to the love. -Until tomorrow, Jaime
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